“If you think of your happiest moments, they will be about people. The most painful moments will too. Our relationships to others make or break our lives.”
“We’ll see that the fundamental core of relationships is the stories our brains weave to create identity, agency, and community—and how those stories not only bind us together but can tear us apart if we’re not careful.”
“So the first step to being better at reading people is to be curious. Even better is to provide yourself with some sort of external gain or loss that motivates you.”
“Since we can’t improve our people-reading skills that much, we have to focus our efforts on making others more readable.”
“However, the weakness of friendship is also the source of its immeasurable strength. Why do true friendships make us happier than spouses or children? Because they’re always a deliberate choice, never an obligation.”
“Empathy is when the line between you and another blurs. Closeness is when your vision of your “self” makes room for someone else to be in there too. And a true friend is “another self.” A part of you.”
“Early human life was routinely a disaster, and we could not survive without help. Individualism was not even on the menu.”
“We forget that our supremacy on this planet was far from fated. We lived on the edge of extinction for most of the 125,000 generations of Homo sapiens. The ultimate proof is that if we didn’t cooperate more often than not, if we didn’t take the gamble and choose to help when it didn’t make sense, quite simply: you would not be here reading this.”
“Almost by definition, meaning is something that must connect everything in life. The meaning of life must be something that, beneath the surface, motivates the majority of what we do, makes us happy when we are in line with it and unhappy when we are not.”
“There’s an old African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I have gone fast for many, many years. But the road is much longer than I thought. Fast isn’t going to cut it anymore. I need to go far.”
“We end up in a place where we have neither community nor solitude, always connected but never fulfilled. Technology and social media aren’t evil, but when they replace real community, we have a problem because we don’t get the meaningful bonds we need.”